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Approaching men at a bar, really isn’t a difficult thing. I’ve previously written that women should be more proactive approaching men while at bars or clubs. Most men find it an attractive trait and it often separates you from most women. It displays initiative, and a strength we often seek in a women. Approaching men seems to be more mystery for women than it does for us men. When you boil it down, there’s no real science to it, men won’t turn down an attractive woman (unless they truly want to be in solitude. Cali recently wrote a great article on how to not to approach men at the bar, as a return favor, I’m providing how women should approach men while out at a bar. After reading these tips, take a deep breath, head out to a bar, and try them out yourselves. What’s the worse that can happen?

1. Take An Interest In What He’s Watching

This tip comes from watching many bar tenders perform their craft. Most bars have a television that are turned on to a sports game. Most of the time we’re paying attention to the sports game (even if it’s on mute). If a guy you’re interested in is keeying an eye on the television, asking a simple do you follow…” with the name of the team that’s playing, or the sport that’s going on is a great way to grab his attention. It shows your taking an interest in him, and his interests. If your a fan, asking a more sports related question like “what do you think of…” and the name of the team that’s playing earns you extra points. Often, this question leads to us wanting to know your name.

2. Sit Next To Him

When sitting down in a public space, it’s human nature to leave a space between yourself and the next individual. However, if you want to approach a guy at a bar, sitting next to him and striking a conversation is a great method. Sitting next to someone is not very confrontational, and in many ways invites conversation. Guys prefer sitting next to someone than sitting across or being separated by them. Most men don’t run away from a woman if they sit next to us. During my worse days, when I’m seeking a drink to wind down, I wouldn’t turn down an attractive woman from sitting next to me and striking a conversation. That would be a great end to a horrible day.

3. Don’t Be Afraid to Comment on His Look

Often when a woman says they like my shirt, ring, or style, I pay attention. Paying compliments to a guy doesn’t hurt. Many times we wear a specific outfit, or maintain a certain style to gain female attention. If at a loss of words, complimenting a guy is a great ice breaker to further conversations. If he’s not wearing anything impressive, or has already received a compliment about his wardrobe from someone else, try something else. Many men place their phones out on the bar, or may have a gadget they are fooling around with, if commenting on his look doesn’t work, comment on the hardware.

4. Be Confident. Ask Direct, Straight-Forward (But Not Personal) Questions

We hate dancing around. Flirting is great, but being too playful, or asking questions that are too vague is a huge turn off. Your questions should be direct, straightforward, and not completely personal. Asking, “I see you’re a beer person, do you have any recommendations?” is different from, “So, how’s your beer?” You should only be asking the latter if you’re the bar tender or waitress.